Murphy’s Laws of Online Shopping

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  1. Place an order. Payment is withdrawn from Paypal, yet you do not receive an order confirmation.
  2. It has been two weeks and you still have not received a shipping confirmation.maxresdefault
  3. Company ships part of your order of final sale items before telling you they are cancelling the rest of your order due to items being out of stock. Thus, you are getting the matching knickers you cannot return to a bra you will now never own.
  4. Place a large order of sale items to justify the cost of postage. Company ships one item, cancels the rest, and still charges the full shipping cost.
  5. Your international parcel took two months to arrive, and nothing you ordered fits.
  6. The tracking number you received only works in the country your parcel shipped from – so tracking hasn’t worked for two months.
  7. Your long overdue package arrived and a) they sent the wrong item, b) they sent the wrong size, c) they didn’t send everything you ordered, d) you got someone else’s order entirely.
  8. You have 30 days from date of purchase to return items. Your parcel arrives on day 31.
  9. The postman gives your package to your neighbour who forgets to pass it on for several weeks.
  10. The postman ‘safe drops’ your package in a flower pot outside your building. Tracking shows package as delivered.
  11. Postman leaves your cardboard box package wrapped in paper out in the pouring rain. Item inside is silk.
  12. Package arrives looking like a dog and a wood-chipper had a fight over the contents and the fight ended in a draw.
  13. The postman delivers your package of crotchless undies and nipple pasties to the wrong address.
  14. Your international package arrives with customs charges that cost nearly as much as the items you ordered.
  15. You accept your package from the friendly courier guy and celebrate that you were not hit by customs by buying more lingerie. Receive large customs bill in mail two weeks later.
  16. Buy items internationally. Return the items. Receive customs bill after already returning items.
  17. Accidentally double-click ‘place order’ and receive two order confirmations. Panic appropriately.
  18. Carefully calculate out the space on your credit card – place an order from a flash sale that costs a few cents under your maximum credit limit – only to have the temporary approval charge of $1 make it so your order won’t go through as that puts you over your credit card limit. Try replacing the order three times before figuring out why.
  19. Buy dream lingerie piece on final sale only to find crotch stains or other signs of wear when it arrives.
  20. Colours of items purchased strongly misrepresented. Your aqua blue bra is really sea green. The white and black robe is actually an ugly beige and black. The orange set is really a fiery red.
  21. Designer changes the lace, the trim, the accents, etc. without noting it in the product description. The bit changed is the exact bit that made you fall in love with the design in the first place. Tears are shed.
  22. Order a beautiful, delicate, risqué lingerie set in full-bust, plus-size only to receive something designed to protect the boobs of Joan of Arc.
  23. Ordering from a new designer in Latvia, or Pakistan, Thailand, etc. and your bank freezes your credit card in case of fraud.
  24. Finding out that the UK website you are buying from sells US bras using US sizes so you have just ordered the wrong size – of course the bra is final sale too.
  25. Websites lists price in $ and you figure it is your own (CAD or AUD) $ currency. Order. Find out it is USD when you see that the item cost you 30% more than listed as on your credit card.
  26. Order package six weeks before moving. It is not delivered until three weeks after you move and then it is delivered to your old address, not your current address where all your mail is supposed to be forwarded to.
  27. Receive package in mail with a hole at one end – all contents are missing.
  28. Website crashes while you are placing your order from a flash deal website. You are left in limbo wondering if your order went through, didn’t go through, and if the website will come up in time for you to replace the order before the deal ends.

Feel free to comment below with your own online shopping mishaps below!

**All images are stock images.

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